- FANFICTION - Sucker For Pain

[uedanoyome]

Title: Sucker for Pain

Pairing: Kamenashi Kazuya/Ueda Tatsuya, Kamenashi Kazuya/Tanaka Koki friendship, Ueda Tatsuya/Taguchi Junnosuke friendship,

hints of Kamenashi Kazuya/Fukada Kyoko

Genre: BDSM, Smut, comedy, fluff

Rating: NC-17, R-18

Summary: Kamenashi Kazuya is a prim and proper idol who ends up working for a new project with the newcomer rising actor Ueda  Tatsuya. Kamenashi decides to accept the offer lightheartedly, thinking it would be as easy as one of his usual jobs. However, he didn't imagine it would end up being the most challenging work not only for his career but also for his private life.

Chapters: (1/??)

Warnings: contains explicit manXman sex scenes, cursing, sort of psychological violence

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, just the story, which is -of course- only fantasy.

A/N: I usually would have never written this kind of KameDa before. But, since I happened to read a KameDa fanfic which was a BDSM fanfic as well, I wanted to write something like that for a very long time since it really inspired me given how beautiful it was! (when I'll be able to find the link again, I'll share it with you. If the author happens to read this: THANK YOU FOR HAVING CREATED THAT STORY! And sorry for having taken inspiration from some bits of it). Also thanks to a manga which helped me knowing more about BDSM in general lol.
I'm posting the other chapters on AO3, so if any of you wants to read them, just follow this link! https://archiveofourown.org/works/21092498/chapters/50183540

CHAPTER I

Kamenashi Kazuya is one of the most loved and famous idol and actor of all times: he's got a beautiful and handsome face, charisma, a perfect smile, stage presence, a wonderful singing voice and he is a skilled actor as well.

Thus, he is considered his agency's sex symbol.

He is indeed the man every girl dreams of and he has always been aware of it.

He knows very well how handsome and talented he is: it was obvious, so why should he even pretend not to know it?

Perfect life, perfect looks, and a wonderful girlfriend as well: He was Fukada Kyoko's boyfriend. They became the most loved couple out there. So, yeah, there was nothing he would have ever complained about in his perfect life, don't you think so?

He was always busy: if it did not have to do with music, he would be performing in some stage plays or whatever like that.

And that time, he had an even more important job coming for him for the first time: he would have acted in an action movie. Something he's never done before.

So, that day, he was going to his first meeting with the director and the fellow actors, a normal, boring routine he had to follow before they'd start filming stuff.

He entered the room where the director was waiting for him and sat down on his seat after having introduced himself.

"So, aren't we going to start yet?"

He looked around the room and saw an empty seat.

"We're waiting for your co-star. He's gonna be the main character together with you, so we have to discuss about what you two have to do".

Kamenashi nodded and rested his face on his fist. No professional actor would ever be late for a meeting for their own movie, especially for the first meeting. What kind of impression would he even give to the others? Kame knew well how this world worked. It was all about looks and manners, so you had to do whatever would please people around you to be liked.

After three quarters, the other actor finally decided to show up in the room. A slim, muscular guy with blonde and spiky hair, wearing a tight t-shirt, leather black jacket, large military pants and combact boots opened the door in a rough and noisy way. Said guy didn't even bother to excuse himself for being hella late; he just sloppily sat on his chair, not even daring to take his sunglasses off.

Witnessing this behaviour, Kame and his manager looked at each other. They were genuinely confused, however, the director just nodded with a smile on his face and started talking, explaining what the movie would be about.

"Now, let's move on to the introduction. Kamenashi Kazuya is going to be our first main, and Ueda Tatsuya our second main. Since this is your first time working together, and since you need some good chemistry between you two, I would suggest you to try to get to know each other better before we start filming. You have never met each other before and have to act like the best of buddies, so I'd suggest you guys to use wisely these months you have before filming starts. Here are your scripts. Please, remember what I told you. Also, I want to remind you that there's no way for you two to escape since you have already signed the contract~" he chuckled amused, he felt really accomplished by what he had just said.

Ueda lowered his glasses in order to look at Kamenashi, he was unimpressed even though he had the most famous and wanted idol and actor right in front of him.

"Tch".

That was all Ueda had to say, then he put his glasses back on.

Kame didn't really know whether to feel annoyed or not, nevertheless he put on a little smile and slightly bowed to his co-actor.

"Then, I hope we can get on well, Ueda-san".

Contrary to what he expected, Ueda just looked at him silently and cut him off with a dry "Whatever".

He was still new in that industry, yet he already had a strong impact on people and directors, especially for action-related stuff.

He was handsome, so, of course, all girls loved him, but he was also known to be really mysterious. His private life was a mystery to everyone, he had never had any rumor, he hasn't ever been caught in any kind of scandal, not even love scandals. It was no exaggeration to say nobody knew anything about him, except for his name and age. The only rumor he had had about himself was that he actually didn't live in Japan. He would occasionally go there when he had some offers he liked (he never accepted all the offers he was given), but after being done -or every now and then between shootings- he'd leave again for wherever he lived. Oh, and the fact that he didn't really seem to be that friendly was well known to everyone.

Kame didn't expect he would have experienced it on his own skin. But he was a pro, so he wouldn't have played the same game Ueda was playing. He kept having his smile printed on his face and tried to be as friendly as possible. Thinking about it, he even found interesting the fact that now Ueda had to be in Japan for quite a while even before shooting.

Ueda hit the table with his hand: "Are we done then? Is this all, can I go now?"

Seriously, he hadn't spoken a word until then, but now, the only thing he had to say was that? Why did the director even choose somebody as impolite as Ueda?

The director let them off, still reminding them to try to create a sort of friendship - or at least feign one - before shooting.

However, neither Kame nor Ueda actually took seriously the suggestion the director gave them and they left the studio not even exchanging contacts.

Ueda turned to Kame before leaving, and spoke to him in a totally disinterested tone of voice: "We don't need to do all the bullshit that idiot suggested us to do. We're actors, we can easily mock him and make him believe we became buddies even if we don't follow what he said. Like hell, I don't have time to waste to go out with a stranger and pretend to be his bestie".

Kame was actually surprised that Ueda could actually make such a long speech, since he seemed to be that type of person who'd reply back using monosyllables.

Still, he felt quite annoyed by the amount of curses he used. While it was true Kame was younger, he nevertheless was his senior and, on top of that, a stranger. That’s why he expected Ueda would have used a more appropriate and formal speech at least.

In spite of his character, what he had just said was quite fair: they were actors, so it would have been easy for them to pretend they actually had some chemistry. But, before Kame could even tell Ueda he agreed, the other man left the building without saying anything.

They thought they could easily get away with it, until both of them received a call from their managers the following day.

Kame picked up his phone just to be attacked by long strings of words so early in the morning.

"Kazuya, I don't think you can really avoid meeting with Ueda-san. You know, your director literally knows everything and he already knows you two tried to mock him, so he called me this morning. I'll pick you up later since the director gave me some material you should follow while you are with Ueda, but this is something I'm gonna tell you about when I pick you up. Anyway, this is Ueda's contact, try to get in touch with him".

Kame blinked speechlessly, he knew that director kept a close eye on his actors but he didn't expect him to be that much of a stalker. Ultimately, he only had to give up and get ready. Work is work, so he just gotta do what he gotta do.

////

On the other side, instead, Ueda was still in the middle of his sleep when his manager phoned him, so it took him quite a while to pick up the call.

"What the fuck d'ya want? Haven't you seen what time is it now?"

Normally, Ueda isn't the most friendly person on Earth, but his level of grumpiness reached even higher peaks in the morning, especially if anyone dared to interrupt his sleep.

"I know it is early and I imagined you were sleeping, but I have received a call from your director, Ueda-sama"

"Ueda-sama" Yes, you read it well. Despite him being his manager, Ueda demanded that he'd call him that.

"What the heck does he want now? I'm not going to the studio again just to hear him say the same bullshits as yesterday", finally Ueda got up and looked for his shirt around his messy bedroom.

"That is not exactly what he wanted. He said he knows you and Kamenashi-san did not plan to meet up and did not exchange contacts, so he gave me Kamenashi-san's contacts and some papers for you to use while you meet with your colleague. I am going to send you Kamenashi-san's contact, then I am coming to pick you up later and give you the papers your director gave me. Please, try to get ready quickly because he wants you two to meet today".

Ueda snorted annoyed. He didn't really follow the whole speech his manager said, but he understood what was the point. And it made him even grumpier, so he just ended the call and went to have a shower.

"What the fuck, he's a fucking director, he should think of his damn movie only and not butt in other people's fucking lives. As if I'm even going to obey him. He knows for who he paid, anyways".

////

Kame was finally ready and he waited for his manager to pick him up.

As soon as Kame got in the car, his manager handed him some papers.

"Your director emailed me these things here. He said you and Ueda-san have to follow this sort of script, so you can actually relate to your characters. There's a list with things you are supposed to ask each other to get to know the other well, and things you need to do together".

Kame looked and quickly read the papers he was holding. His director really made a schedule for him and Ueda?! Was that even allowed? Kame was hesitating while he was busy reading those papers, and his manager noticed it. After all, his manager, Tanaka Koki, knew him best given the fact that they have been friends since forever and he could read him well.

"Kazuya, I know this is crazy but it's an important job, this one. It's gonna be on big screens so just go with it".

Kamenashi knew it well himself. It was the best offer he had had that year, so he had to work hard and succeed in his role so that many more offers as big would have come and his image would become even better.

He sighed and nodded, "Yeah, I know. I am not going to refuse it. I just have to hope this Ueda won't give me any problems, though".

"Have you contacted him yet?"

"I've sent him a mail before you came but he's not replied back yet".

Kame already foresaw himself having to bear with this pretty often now that he had to spend more time with that problematic and mysterious guy.

Be patient, Kazuya, be patient. This is why you're a pro.

///

"What the fuck is this shit?! You must be kidding me! That scumbag really made up a whole schedule! I'm not in, I absolutely am not up to it". Ueda's voice could be heard from the outside of his car, despite it being totally closed.

He threw the papers to his manager and twisted his lips in anger. He couldn't believe he had to follow that shit just for a damn movie. It wasn't the first time he acted with somebody he didn't know, so why the heck did he have to follow a damn script even out of his job and go out with somebody he didn't want to be with?

"I know you are angry now, but, really, it is a lot of money he is offering you and he is a famous director as well. This will help you get a lot of great offers, Ueda-sama! You cannot refuse it. It is just a meeting with a colleague every now and then, you had to stay in Japan during these months anyway, so just take it as a past time".

Taguchi Junnosuke, Ueda's manager, always tried to see the positive side of things and tried to persuade Ueda using his positivity.

Most of the times it worked, simply because Ueda couldn't be bothered by him insisting and talking for too long.

"Fuck it, there'll be other offers".

"Don't be like this, come on! If other directors know that you snobbed him, nobody will hire you, so just try it".

Ueda snorted, roughly grabbing the papers from his manager's hands, and gave them a quick look.

"I'll meet this Kamenashi-dude, but I'm not gonna follow this idiocy of a script".

Taguchi nodded and smiled accomplished: he knew Ueda would have listened to him, in a way or another, especially if he reminded him what would that movie offer him.

"Have you contacted Kamenashi-san, yet?"

"Heck, no! I would never dare to".

Taguchi sighed, Ueda was truly hopeless and would never change his mind if he didn't want to do something.

"You should contact him to meet"

Ueda snorted and took his phone: "Why should I? I believe the director gave GodNashi my contact as well. He's my senior so he shoulda contacted me first".

Ueda checked his phone and noticed that Kame had, indeed, sent him a mail asking him if it was alright to meet at a private cafeteria in a hour. However, when Ueda finally checked his phone, one hour had already passed, so he was, obviously, late.

"There ya go, he contacted me. Happy now? This dude here really took that scumbag seriously?!" , he snorted again and told him the place he had to go to, not even bothering to reply back to Kame's message.

///

Kame checked his watch. He had been waiting at that cafe for more than an hour already and that Ueda didn't even text him back to, at least, let him know if he would have reached him or not.

《How are we even supposed to get along if he doesn't even bother to reply back or come to a meeting?! I'm a pro and I don't have time to waste with a newcomer actor who's already so swollen-headed》.

He was about to leave the place when, finally, Ueda entered the room and listlessly sat in front of him. Again, not apologising, again not greeting.

Kamenashi coughed, in order to try to catch the other guy's attention, but, as expected, he was purposely ignored.

"Good morning, Ueda-san. I have waited for you for quite a while, plus, I was waiting for an answer to my message".

Kame kept a calm and low tone of voice, making sure not to sound too strict. The last thing he wanted was a fight with Ueda at their first meeting.

However, the only thing he got was a quick "Saw your message, now I'm here. G'mornin' ".

Kame tried so hard not to retort to Ueda's disinterested manners, but there was one thing he couldn't stand at the moment, and that is to say his sunglasses.

"Ueda-san, may I ask you to take your sunglasses off?"

"You may, of course, but this doesn't mean I'm gonna do it"

Kame took a deep breath and counted till ten before talking again, when he was finally calm again, then he started speaking.

"Well, we are in the middle of a talk, and I would rather look into your eyes than see myself into your specs".

Ueda smirked a little: "Oh really? Don't cha like the reflection? The famous and godly Kamenashi Kazuya? I thought you did. But, if you'd rather focus on your image later then, 'k".

Kame was just about to explode, but he tried to contain himself. He surely wouldn't have fallen into Ueda's trap and play the same game he was playing.

Finally, Ueda decided to take his sunglasses off, revealing two beautiful dark eyes, which were as bright and as deep and beautiful as black agate stones.

Kame looked at his eyes for a second, when he was interrupted by Ueda's "Ya happy now?".

He slightly nodded.

"Since our director told us we should meet to know each other better, I believe we should start talking according to what the script says".

Ueda laughed, he seemed to be really amused and Kame didn't really see the reason why he looked like that.

"Is there something funny, perhaps?"

"Just as expected from all directors' sweetheart Kamenashi Kazuya. You'd really follow that bunch of bullshits".

Kame looked at him and blinked a few times in order to collect his thoughts and phrase them in the less impolite possible way: "It's for the sake of our film's outcome. We got to make it look as natural as possible for it to be a success, thus, we ought to follow what we have been told".

Ueda laughed again, this time he avoided answering though. Seeing no words were coming from the other party, Kame just started talking again. Changing topic would, indeed, have been the best way not to lose his nerves.

"Since our script says we should talk about ourselves, why don't you tell me something about you? Your life, for example".

Ueda snorted and crossed his legs, making himself as comfortable as possible: "Hell no. There's a reason why it's called private life. So it should be private and not be spilled to any random stranger I meet. I'm not like the big star Kamenashi Kazuya, whose private life is all over the internet and tabloids".

Thinking of it, Kame started preferring when Ueda answered with monosyllables only or when he didn't answer at all. His words were as sharp as a knife, and Ueda himself knew it.

"It is just the two of us, we will be working together for a long time, so we will not be strangers anyways. Plus, our script says so". Kame kept using his formal and polite speech, meanwhile Ueda, who just defined Kamenashi as a stranger, kept talking to him so informally.

"The script, the script. You have already learnt that thing by heart? I'd rather clean my dog's shit with that script than actually follow it. I'm not like you, I don't do what they tell me to do, even if they are movies' directors or whatever they are. I do the fuck I want and however the fuck I want to. If I don't like it, I just won’t do it. So forget this whole bullshit, coz I'm not gonna answer any of those stupid things. As for you, we all already know everything about you. You live the perfect life: lotsa money, great success both as a singer and as an actor, and a hella bombshell as a girlfriend. Congrats, man" Ueda smirked and crossed his legs satisfied, especially when he saw Kame's expression gradually change from the professional idol Kamenashi Kazuya was to an annoyed and not-so-professional Kamenashi.

Kame looked at the guy in front of him and inhaled deeply. He was dangerously close to lose his last nerve and finally tell him to watch his mouth and shut the fuck up. But he didn't.

"You seem to be very informed. But these are not the only things we have to talk about".

"Listen, I'm not gonna talk about myself to a stranger. You might be okay with following a script in real life too, but I'm not. I've got no time to waste with all this falsehood and made-up scenes, unlike you. I don't like to be told what to do".

Kame felt these last phrases cut him sharply, it gave him chills all over his spine, but the only come-back he had was a low "Excuse me?".

Ueda stood up after sipping his coffee, leaned close to Kame's ear, and talked in a low and warm yet sharp tone of voice: "I'm not the one who has to follow what I'm told to do. People gotta obey me, not the contrary, Kame-chan".

So he opened the door and left without speaking further. While Kame was speechlessly looking at the chair where Ueda was sitting just a while ago, feeling Ueda's words running down his spine.

///

When his manager picked him up, Kame was furious, or actually ashamed that somebody he didn't even know had treated him the way Ueda just did.

Moreover, difficult to believe, he almost lost his composure once again while retelling the meeting he just had to Koki.

"I don't think I can do this anymore. I mean, meeting that guy".

Kame was trembling, be it for his nerves and anger, be it for some other reasons he still didn't know.

"Eh? Why? Kazuya, if you don't follow what your director told you to do, he'll know it and I don't really think it will be that pleasing".

Kame shook his head: "I just can't! That guy kept making a fool of me during the whole meeting! He's got no manners and no respect at all. He seriously says whatever he wants however and whenever he wants and I can't stand it again. He literally ridiculed me all the time, and his words were too sharp for him not to be serious. He really meant them!"

Koki was trying hard to calm his friend down and try to make him go back to his senses, but once Kame's pride has been hurt then there's nothing much to do.

"No, I really can't bear to be made a fool of by a newcomer who knows nothing about me and about the showbiz world".

Koki looked at him apprehensively.

"What about taking some days off him. Once you have calmed down, you'll agree with him for a second meeting? You don't have to rush things, so wait till you're in the mood again, but you gotta meet him. For your movie's sake, at least".

Kame sighed and nodded: "Fine, fine. But I don't want to meet him tomorrow, so let me be".

///

Junno picked Ueda up after he called him telling him his meeting with Kame was over. Now, the both of them were sitting in the car while heading back to the hotel Ueda was staying at.

"So? How was it with Kamenashi-san?"

Ueda smiled amused and kept a playful yet distinctively sharp tone: "Oh, we had lotsa fun. I might have some more fun next time I see him, but I, unfortunately, think he doesn't think the same. I actually don't believe he's ever gonna invite me out again, so sad". He laughed accomplished while Junno looked at him puzzled and sighed.

"Ueda-sama... Please, do not tell me you did it again? You did the same with your previous colleagues as well and they had the same reaction".

Ueda smirked: "Did what? I did absolutely nothing. Our director told us we should talk to know each other, so talking was all I did. I am starting to give him an idea of who I am, so he knows me too". Ueda's voice was really calm, yet it had a malicious tone which was worrying Junno. He knew how he treated his other colleagues and giving Kamenashi Kazuya the same treatment wouldn't have been a great idea.

"Ueda-sama, it is true he has to get to know you well, but he should not know that kind of side of yours. You should try to be friendly".

Ueda raised his eyebrow and slowly turned to Junno while twisting his lips. He leaned closer to his manager, grabbed his hair, and talked in a low, threatening tone: "Are you, asshole, perhaps telling me what to do? I didn't remember I gave ya the right to do this"

Junno's eyes widened, he felt chills run down his spine, his hands started sweating and his voice trembled. He realized he might have unconsciously touched Ueda's nerves with his advice, which Ueda misunderstood for some kind of commands.

"U-Ueda-sama, you know I would never dare commanding you anything. I was just suggestin-".

Ueda's hand tightened around his manager's hair, making the other man squeal.

"I don't take orders, I give 'em. Remember this. I don't need any suggestion, especially from you. I do the fuck I want, I know how to handle it. Apologise. Now".

Junno nodded and gulped, his voice still blatantly showing his fear and begging the man holding his hair: "I-I am sorry, I did not mean to get on your nerves. Forgive me, please".

Ueda's hand finally let him go and the manager took a sigh of relief. Angry Ueda is the scariest thing a person would ever want to see, things would be too dangerous for a normal person to bear, if so.

///

The following days, Kame refused to contact Ueda again for another meeting. He needed time to cool his head, and meeting with that guy again just to receive the same treatment as their first meeting, wouldn't have been the best choice.

However, a week had already passed, so, Kame knew that, despite him not wanting to, he had to contact Ueda again.

"Koki, do you have Ueda-san's manager's contact?"

"Yeah, the director gave me his contact as well. Why do you need it, though?"

Kame sighed: "I'd rather talk with his manager than Ueda-san himself when we have to agree on meetings. I already have to bear with him for a whole day, so I can't stand to have his annoyed voice fool me also while I'm trying to do my job".

Koki laughed and gave Kame his phone so he could get Ueda's manager's phone number.

"He is indeed nicer than Ueda-san, so you'll have it easier, at least".

Kame quickly composed Junno's phone number and called him. It didn't take that long for him to pick the call up. Kame was relieved: at least, one of them two didn’t ignore him!

"Hello? I am Ueda Tatsuya's manager, Taguchi Junnosuke speaking".

As Kame heard the cheerful and energic voice at the other side of the phone, he took a sigh of relief. Maybe, this time, it would have been easier to set a meeting.

"Hello, it's Kamenashi Kazuya. I am sorry if I disturbed you in the morning".

"Oh, Kamenashi-san! Please do not worry about it, you have not disturbed me at all! I am actually surprised to receive a call from you".

Kame could feel that the other man was smiling just by hearing his voice. He seemed so nice, and this made Kame wonder why couldn't he meet with him rather than meeting with Ueda. Surely, it would have felt much better.

"Ah, yes... About this call... I preferred to contact you, this time, to set a meeting with Ueda-san today. For a dinner".

Junno seemed relieved when he heard that Kame was actually okay with meeting Ueda once again. At least, he hadn’t escaped yet like the other actors Ueda worked with.

"I am really glad you want to meet him again! Currently, Ueda-sama is still sleeping but he does not have any plan for this evening, so it should be okay. Please, be patient! I am going to wake him up and inform him about your invitation. Then, I will contact you again to agree on the place and time. Is it okay?"

‘Ueda-sama’... For real? His manager really had to call him that? Seriously, who did that guy think he was to even demand something like that? Kame was sure it was Ueda who wanted to be called like that, based on the impression he gave on the first meeting.

That guy was too good to work with somebody as complicated as Ueda.

"Sure! Take your time! Thank you for your helpfulness!"

///

After he hung up the call, Junno rushed to Ueda's hotel room and quickly opened all windows so some light could get in the room.

"Ueda-sama, you need to wake up! I have some things to tell you. Please get out of bed".

He quickly took Ueda's blankets off, finding a half-naked Ueda right in front of him. Biceps, chest and abs at their best.

Ueda looked at Junno still half-asleep, but with a clear annoyed expression printed on his face. His voice was still mumbling: "What the fuck are you even doing, idiot?"

Junno was used to Ueda's insults, to the point that he couldn't even hear them anymore. He just liked to think of them like a sign of their friendship. He is really so positive.

"I have talked to Kamenashi-san a while ago; he wants to meet you again this evening. He wants to have dinner with you".

"Da fuck?! And this is why you came here making all this fucking noise?! Fuck off and lemme sleep, I won't meet anyone". Ueda took his blankets back on and lied back in the bed.

Junno sat next to him, complaining and whining just like a professional manager would do: "Please, Ueda-sama~ Listen to me, at least. Kamenashi-san is just trying to do his job"

Ueda snorted: "Holy shit, you can be so fucking annoying even when it's early in the morning".

Junno poked Ueda's arm, having him slap his hand away as a result. But, at least, he managed to keep him awake and now Ueda was finally sitting on his bed.

"I have to say I am surprised he wants to meet you again. You said you thought he would have not contacted you again".

Ueda snorted again and rolled his eyes: "I should have imagined that the wonderful Kamenashi Kazuya would never refuse to do something to please directors, or else he wouldn't be as famous". He clicked his tongue, but after a second he smirked mischievously. Junno was worried, that smile didn't mean anything good, he knew it well.

"Fine, he wants to follow that damn script and meet me? Okay. He'll have to meet me every fucking day, but it'll be his worst nightmare. Tell him I'll meet him this evening".

Comments are welcome! Let me know what do you think of it!

Comments

[uedanoyome.livejournal.com]

I know that feeling too! Not only coz of the period itself but also coz exams are getting closer so I need to study more @@
I hope you'll give your best and won't let the stress get the better of you! I'm rooting for you!

At least you won't be left "pending" on what's next... well, more or less xD
Eeh that's so bad though @@ If people are enjoying what you do and showing it why not answering them or also go on, even if it's more slowly... That's so bad :/
You really really do, so thank you so much! I really needed this!
❤

[emisana.livejournal.com]

Gosh you have exams ?! One more reason to stress orz this period is really something ; I wish you luck tho!
I'll feel better once Xmas is over but thanks, I'm rooting for you too for your exams!

Hahaha how you says that! Can't wait to read haha!
Idk some just vanished or some said they had no time to keep going, I mean I can understand we don't all have the time but it's frustrating to start reading something and have the author not finishing like they will not try to keep posting they just say they will stop cauz no time which is so bad when you're really enjoying their stories..
So yeah please don't stop yours even if you need more time to post the chapters it's fine just keep on posting them cauz your story is really good so if you ever feel not motivated just recall there is several people enjoying your story and waiting for the following! Even if they didn't leave comments they still liked it from what I saw, so I'm not the only one! And like me it's probably a good break for their mind too, allows us to cut from reality during a little time and it's what we all need and thanks to people like you we can have it! So please just keep thinking at that cauz it's only the truth after all.
But yeah at least I'm glad I can keep you motivated so far! :)
And no need really, like I said already, you're really a good author!

[uedanoyome.livejournal.com]

Yeah ;^; The first semester ends this January and so winter exams session is starting, so I need to prepare two or three exams all together in the meanwhile @@
Thank you so much! I'm rooting for you too, hopefully this season ends soon xD

LMAO The way I had to end/interrupt the chapters was unavoidable so that's the thing xD
Ah yeah, I heard about that a lot and I did the same with some stories I wrote in the past as well (only exception: I didn't post them at least xD)
However, I think that if you plan to drop the story for that reason, then it's either better to start posting them once you're all done writing them or just think twice before posting. Or, perhaps, just try to find some time here and there to keep writing, so you won't leave other people who enjoyed it pending :/
Gosh, that's so sweet of you! ;^;
I'll surely keep posting this story till the very end and keep doing my best for you and the other readers who enjoy reading it and can actually feel sorta good after reading it ;^;
No matter how long it takes and my other businesses, I'll try my best!
Thank you for motivating me! ♡

Ahdjf seriously thank you for all these sweet words ;^;

[emisana.livejournal.com]

Gosh, I'm so glad I don't have to do that anymore. Hope everything will go well for you!
Yeah clearly can't wait for it to be over lol!

Haha!
Ah but you didn't post them so at least no one was frustrated! I think most of people just write one or two chapters and post them right away and then they write the following chapters like once a week or so and post them, which mean there is no chapters written in advance you know ? So yeah I think it's better to either have your story finished before posting or to, at least, have like half of it ready and posting it like once a week or each two weeks like this you have some time to finish your story but I feel like most people doesn't do it sadly orz.
But anyway I'm glad to know you'll do your best and post it until the end! Like I said even if you need more time it's just fine as long as I know you'll keep posting for sure I'll keep waiting (even if I sounds impatient sometimes with my "can't wait" etc haha)
And no need really, I'm just a fan of your work haha!

No need, just the truth! :)

[uedanoyome.livejournal.com]

Lucky you for this! XD
Thank you so much!

Exactly!
I think that people know it before writing that they won't always have much time for it, thus, before posting they should think that people who read want more of course. So, indeed, it's better to either write everything in advance or a good part of it so you can take it slow with the following half :/
I don't like leaving stuff pending if I know somebody is looking forward to it. Therefore, even though it might take longer than planned, I just think of finishing it and post it till the very end.
Also, thank you for your patience in this case and for being a fan of it ;^;
Speaking of which, I'm working on the two chapters to post and I hope I can post then within the end of the day or tomorrow! So, thank you for waiting!

[emisana.livejournal.com]

Yeah haha!
No need :)

Yeah cauz once you posted it, there is high chance few people are gonna start to read it and find it nice and will want to read everything till the end. But yeah people should think twice before posting and think more in advance.
Wish everyone would be like you for this, to really go until the end, especially when people are looking forward to it!
No need really!
Really ?? So nice! I really can't wait!
Well for your story, the wait is really worth it!

[uedanoyome.livejournal.com]

Exactly what I mean!
People should expect that, in a way or another, there will always be people checking their stories out if they post them, hence, they'd obviously like to see the end of them as well. But, perhaps, not all people think the same :/
Eheh, thank you 😳
Really! It took longer than I thought but they're both up now on AO3, I hope you'll enjoy them when you can read them!
So sweet, thank you, really ;^;

[emisana.livejournal.com]

Yeah be 1 or 100 persons, there is for sure gonna be someone who's gonna read it, especially fanfic, if you're sharing in a fandom you can be sure there is gonna be readers. So yeah better to think it twice before posting and be sure you can finish it so like this people who enjoy it can have the end of the story. But yeah sadly not all people think this way :/
I found time to read them yesterday as the addictive fan that I am lol!
Seriously two chapters in a row was really a gift, thank you for have taking the time to do it!
And first of all, it's just getting better and better as always!
I really looove how the relationship is turning, the characters development are really interesting, be Kame that seems to really want it, to be excited by it, his body reacting so much but his mind is still not fully open, I really like how there is still a part of him that doesn't want to accept it fully yet. And it's really nice to have this or else it would have been too quickly if Kame was not fighting against himself at all, but there you can really see how he want it but also how he's still not ready to accept everything he is feeling and he'll suddenly almost get upset to Ueda, which we all know isn't a good idea lol! And be Ueda that we can see as the Master and I really love how he is very caring, it's not like he's a random sadist like that would not care about Kame's feelings or anything, it's really like safe, no matters how rough he can become, you know it's safe because there is a safe word and all and yes I just really love the mix of the rough sadist and the gentle side, be how he's caring for Kame in general or be the aftercare it's really just a nice balance between the two.
But yeah just really loving how it's going, Kame to start to let go of his fake image and starts to feeling things towards Ueda and Ueda caring for Kame and paying attention to his feelings and not just jumping on him despite his desire to f*ck him haha.
And it's also so funny how Kame is like excited by Ueda and even sending pic of his erection and having this sex phone thing and after also when Kame started to really touch himself while Ueda was in the shower but still Kame is pushing the thoughts of actually doing it with Ueda.
I really like this whole atmosphere like going not too fast, being at a good pace and wondering when Kame will fully accept everything.
Just really I said that already but it's really so good, your writing and the way you make the story goes on at the right pace and the characters development, like, it's just perfect!
And as always, I can't wait for the following chapters! Becoming more and more addictive haha!

Also, I tried to make a global comment of the two chapters without writing a chapter myself just for commenting your story even if I kinda did lol!

And also Merry Xmas!

[uedanoyome.livejournal.com]

Exactly! No matter how many people read it, even if it's only one it's important to not forget about them and keep going, even slowly.
But yeah, not everyone has the same opinion :/
OMG I'M SO FLATTERED I DIDN'T EXPECT YOU TO READ THEM THIS SOON IN *THIS* TIME OF THE MONTH LMAO
I'm happy you're liking it more! From now on the chapters will have more and more stuff coming, I personally like what's coming the best of the story 👀
Yeah, little by little the both of them will grow up as characters so, from that point it was necessary to make them develop already.
Of course Kame can't accept himself changing so easily since it's a side of him he didn't know it existed, but he'll try to deal with it in a way or another I think.
As for Ueda, he's indeed growing up as well. He's a sadist, but as you said, he's not a random one so he'll always make sure Kame is alright with what he does and pay attention as well. And, of course, he'd wait for Kame's consent whatever he does as well.
I'm glad you noticed this side of Ueda as well and not just give his role as a dominant sadist for granted!
Ueda's aim is to break Kame's fake image and Kame himself wants it so he's slowly following what Ueda is doing letting him break him, of course.
And the phone sex was a proof, I believe xD
Or even letting himself go in Ueda's room despite it not being an "official" command.
I'm really happy to know you liked this new side of the story and that you were able to notice so many slow developments as well!
I'm curious to know what was your favourite part of those chapter or your favourite parts in general, so far 🤧
As always, I will try to post the next one not too late xD

Thank you so much for this comment! I really read it with a smile printed on my face coz your appreciation made me so happy ;^;

Thank you!!
Also, I hope you had a wonderful Christmas! And sorry for being so late but I wasn't home and had bad net connection @@

[emisana.livejournal.com]

Exactly! But yeah sadly it seems that way :/

Haha well thankfully I had nothing much to do in the afternoon soo yes, I read it!
Omg really ?! I can't wait to read then! You're such a tease tho to say that and I have to waaaiit /sobs lol!
Yes it really feel like we're entering more deep into the characters and we starts to know them much more and I love it.
Yes this is even so funny how he's excited/aroused by Ueda this much but when Ueda says it out loud it's like Kame's mind can't take it yet. This struggle within himself is really interesting.
Yes I really like how it's all safe and not like Ueda would force Kame to do something, like I said I really enjoy the nice balance between the very rough and the gentle and how Ueda will start to do things once Kame said ok just like how Kame asked Ueda to break him and so Ueda went ahead and did it even if Kame's mind had a hard time to take it all in like he was aroused but still feeling his ego being destroyed but even tho he asked for it again and so Ueda started the first real session, like they really communicate it's not random at all. Which make me say it again but it's so well put together and really at a good pace and you wrote it so well that we notice those changes like all those details are important just like how Ueda keep allowing Kame to his hotel even to his bedroom let him sleep there, not like he'd kick Kame out once they were done with the session. It's really the whole thing that make it so nice to read.
But yeah the phone sex was so nice haha, like I said I really like how Kame is giving himself into it without even realizing and I really loved how Ueda started to give orders but got aroused and started to touch himself too, proof again that he isn't just a random sadist and that he'll also give himself into it. Talking about phone, I really liked how Ueda said he purposely put a louder ringtone for Kame so when he receives a message from him he can wake up and answer to him.
But yeah I really loved how Kame started to touch himself when Ueda went to shower despite Ueda saying this more for tease him, Kame really did it and I feel like even Ueda is surprised sometimes by how Kame is giving himself into it so much, shows him that Kame is really enjoying it and not forcing himself in any way, which I feel like make Ueda even more aroused haha.
Just like how also Kame kept wanting to call Ueda "Master" despite the session to be over haha and had to change to "Ueda-san" last second and Ueda answering in such way..!
Also I loved when Kame ended up calling him "Ueda-sama". It's really all details like that here and there that make everything so good and so it make it hard to pick a fav moment because I just love the whole thing haha, but guess I really enjoyed all the moments I just mentionned but just yeah it's like there isn't a moment I'm not loving, so yeah not gonna mention everything from each chapters or else this comment of mine is gonna be endless lol!
Thanks haha!

I'm glad to know :) I'm just enjoying your story so much so I had to make a longer comment haha, just like this one actually haha!

No need!
Thanks, it was a bit boring for me at some point lol but could have been worst, I was even lost into my thoughts at some point tho and started thinking at your story and what might come next LOL!
It's alright don't worry about it :)

[uedanoyome.livejournal.com]

Indeed :/

I'm speechless really ;^;
Oh gosh, sorry! I didn't mean to be THAT much of a teaser x)
I'll try to have the next chapter beta-ed soon, I can't 100% assure it's gonna be before the new year but I'll try my best to make it happen!
Well, let's say that the real story is starting from here since we really enter in the depths of the characters and see what they're really made of! I'm glad you're loving this ;^;
Indeed, he'll be struggling a lot since he will find out many things he wasn't aware of. And yeah, as long as it's him just thinking then it's fine, but if it's Ueda saying it out loud it's a problem since it means it's an actual fact xD Poor Kame xD
Thank you so much! I wanted to show a new side of Ueda and show that he isn't always that annoying, afterall xD
He'd never force Kame to anything and whatever he does, it's because he had proofs from Kame's reaction that he'd be alright with it which is what makes Ueda kind of special I guess? Since he's not as forceful as his role could let him do.
Also Kame notices it afterall, and that's why he is interested of going more and more into this "game" with Ueda, despite him feeling hurt after the first part of it when they just talked.
I love the way you notice all the little changes, really ;^;
Even the fact that Ueda didn't kick Kame out of the room after their session ;^;
He wanted to make sure he was alright afterall, and also tell him more about the whole thing itself.
The phone sex was one of the parts I liked the most for that part of the story, I'm happy to know you liked it too xD I liked the idea of Kame just giving in and let Ueda command him even with that, so I just couldn't not write that!
And having Ueda getting aroused because of Kame was the best part of that, I think since it shows that he's just as into it as Kame is... And also that Kame is too much even for somebody like Ueda xD
Ah, the ringtone thing! XD The situation itself called for it I think xD
I'm so happy ;^;
Ueda's words are basically orders for Kame whatever the situation is, and since Ueda wouldn't touch him, Kame couldn't keep back anymore. Which shows how he's letting himself go and strip off the prim and proper side of himself too, furthermore it shows that he's not forcing himself into it but really enjoying, indeed.
But yeah, Kame's willingness to do anything Ueda does will get Ueda pretty bad, indeed xD
Agsjfk yes! Kame going for "Master" or "Ueda-sama" will truly be one of Ueda's biggest turn ons I guess xD
And that "Ueda-sama" as well, it came so naturally that shows how Kame is starting to sloooowly open up!
You're really so lovely, I swear! I'm happy to know you're enjoying the story and liking every little bits and details I'm adding to it ;^;
And i love how you notice all the details, even the smallest ones! Amazing, really! I'm glad to have such a good reader, afterall ;^;
LMAO after 8 chapters I guess that would have been complicated to explain wholly xD

It's okay! I love reading your comments to it, really ;^;
They motivate me more and more and show me that I'm not taking the wrong path while i write xD

Aaah I'm sorry it was boring @@, but I get you! We had our days filled with xmas movies it became a torture!
OMG I DIDN'T EXPECT THIIIS! LOL THANK YOU XD
I wonder what do you expect next xD

[emisana.livejournal.com]

Haha it's alright but yeah just keep making me want to read the following so much!
Thank you! I hope you'll be able to but if you're not it's alright, don't want you to pressure yourself too much either!

Yes we see that we'll start to know more and more about the characters so it keep being more and more interesting.
Yes I always find it so funny how he's doing stuff without thinking much but once it's done or once Ueda says it out loud he's like "What the f*ck ?!" just like how Ueda made fun of him saying how Kame is as straight as an arrow, well only from what Kame is saying cauz clearly if he was this straight he wouldn't be doing all this with Ueda and even when Ueda says such stuff Kame is still like trying to reject the idea he might not be as straight as he says but still find excuses to his behavior. Just like how he wasn't thinking with the d*ck pic and phone sex, that he wasn't the only one that did it since he did it with Ueda. I just really like how he's finding ways like this without admitting what's so obvious.
Yes we might think from the first chapters that Ueda will be rough and not really wait after Kame's consents but he does and even more he really care and I think this is also why Kame is giving himself so easily it's cauz he feel safe with Ueda, he doesn't hesitate to entrust himself to him. Even how Kame himself was surprised to see Ueda turning from a sadist to such a caring person, I feel like Kame wouldn't have go further if Ueda wasn't that way, cauz after all I feel like Kame also enjoy those sessions because he know there is also the aftercare right after haha. Like he enjoys to have someone controling him in such way and breaking this whole idol image since himself, is tired of it, and just not being able to fake it anymore but he also enjoys the other side of Ueda just as much.
Yes this too how Ueda explained everything to Kame and how they discussed about what would be better for Kame etc.
Yes like how you think Ueda has the full control but then Kame moaning "Ueda-sama" was enough for him to lost it haha. I feel like Kame is saying/doing stuff Ueda wouldn't have excepted, or maybe not this soon, but Kame does and so you can see how Ueda is having more and more of a hard time to hold himself back but he still does cauz he doesn't want to force it onto Kame and he also want to break his image first and that Kame admit it himself.
But yes I love how Kame just give himself so easily as soon as Ueda said so haha, I like how Kame is reacting so much but still pushing away the idea of doing it with Ueda, it make you wonder when will he give up and let himself go into it fully.
Yes this is what was really nice too, how Kame said "Ueda-sama" so naturally without even thinking like make it even better!
Of course I do! There is even others stuff I forgot to mention like how Ueda call Kame "Kazuya" like way to say the session is starting cauz he isn't calling him like this otherwise. Or even how they both laughed when Ueda was pinching/pulling Kame's cheeks haha, there is like a complicity that is growing between them and it's so nice.
It's really both characters that are so interesting, cauz you might have Kame making such a change into his life but to also have Ueda showing more and more of his personality is so good. Like this you really see the relationship growing from both sides and not just Kame's side, we really learn about them both.

[emisana.livejournal.com]

I know I keep repeating myself over and over again lol but I'm so amazed by the way you write it, to have such good balance, such good pace, such good developments be the characters and the story, really I think that's the best fanfic I've read so far. I don't recall reading one so good without having any boring moments or whatsoever, every bits of it is interesting, you give so much details and even the little changes, like everything is so good and impressive. No wonder I'm so addicted after all haha. I swear I'm not just being nice it's just really so f*cking good.
But yeah sorry I guess this comment is gonna be so long again I hope I'm not bothering you with that lol!

I'm glad that it motivate you! Clearly you're going the f*cking good path haha!

Well I'm used to it, my family doesn't have the same hobbies than me so I'm easily bored orz.
Hahaha well yeah I swear I was lost in my thoughts and started to be like "I wonder what will be the next chapter.. What's gonna happen when Ueda will come out of the shower ? Will he just drive Kame home for the moment or he will maybe say something or try to tease him a bit more ? Are we gonna have moments where they are at work together and Ueda would start to tease Kame in the changing room ?" lol that kind of stuff hahaha. I just thought that if later on we have them working for the movie, how funny it could become to have Ueda starting the "Master" game when they have a break or when they have to change clothes etc. Or even just them meeting for work with managers, producers etc and people would be like "That's great you're getting along together" and I'd just imagine Kame's reaction lol. After I'm just imagining stuff, it's your story I don't want to sound like I'm pushing stuff onto you cauz that's not the case at all, I just like to try to guess what we might end up getting in the forthcoming chapters lol. Cauz whatever if there is scenes like that or not there is no way I'm gonna stop reading or loving it so much haha, clearly no way!

Sorry btw my comment was so long I had to split it in two OMG lol I'm sorry hahaha!

[uedanoyome.livejournal.com]

You don't repeat yourself at all! Really those words of yours are what an author needs to have more motivation to work harder and to love what they themselves are doing ;^; So, many many thanks!!
I'm happy to know this, to know I was able something well-balanced and stuff, it means a lot to me!
OMG I DIDN'T EXPECT THIS, SERIOUSLY YOU'RE TOO GOOD!! There are many good fics out of here so it really touches me to know this ;^;
I always have doubtd whether some parts can be boring or not so this means so much! I hope it will keep being so with time!
Lmao you can write long comments as much as you like since I truly like to see the way you see and read this story! It's really interesting to see your points of view as well xD
So, thank you and just don't keep back when you have more to write or when you have anything to ask!

Abdjfk This truly means a lot! Thank you! I'll keep doing my best for keeping this spirit up!

Aaah I know what you mean, and that is exactly why I had the same problem @@
Weeeeell what's gonna happen next will have some interesting stuff as well, maybe? Or also funny stuff? Something along those lines xD
We will have bits of them working together since there are some things which have to be still done between them two, but who knows what it will look like arriving at that point xD
No at all! Don't apologise! I'd never take it as if you are pushing stuff in it or whatever, really! It's normal being curious and imagining stuff, of course!
Thank you sooo much! I hope these things that will happen later on will be up to your thoughts then ;^;

No worries at all! XD It was nice to read!
Aaaand also, happy new year!

[uedanoyome.livejournal.com]

Weeell then it's good to keep attention up xD
In the end, with all the things to prepare for Mew year I just couldn't make it, despite it being half beta-ed /sighs/
I hope it's gonna be ready within later today ;^;

Hehe many thanks again! I like the idea of slowly showing the real characters' personalities, and this thing is slowly bringing all their sides out.
I think that's because when Ueda says it, he just realises that then it's an actual fact, not only his supposition xD So he's just more frustrated
The "straight as an arrow" was too funny I had to add that xD In the end, even Kame unconsciously knows that it was just a joke, afterall. Or else, as you said, if he was as straight, he would have hated the idea of having Ueda do that sort of things on him and all xD
Exactly! With that but also the phone sex and dick pic, he just tried to find excuses, blaming Ueda somehow, just to make it look more acceptable from his side. I just guess he's gonna need some time and see what comes next lol
Thank you for your appreciation!
Ah yeah! At first you can just picture Ueda being annoyingly harsh as always, despite him being misunderstood somehow xD
But then, he's just really caring and thoughtful and would think of Kame's well-being first, since he understands Kame's position as well.
Of course, Kame trusts Ueda enough, even more when he was able to see what kind of person he is, not only after the first two sessions but also when they met and hung out, perhaps.
And yeah xD Kame's spoiled ass could love this thing even more for the aftercare as well since he likes being pampered that way by Ueda xD
In the end, Ueda just becomes weaker at those times since Kame is too much even for him, sometimes lol
Indeed! Having Kame being so into this and taking some kinds of first steps, like the "Ueda-sama" thing and all, surely has its big effects on Ueda. He's human too afterall, and I think we'll see him getting weaker pretty often lol
But yeah, despite that, everything he does will be performed after making sure Kame would be into it, which is something Kame will appreciate.
Well, Kame is still trying to face this new side of him so it might make him change idea or just keep him going this way, it depends on the way Ueda manages to move around him too. For the full thing, though, I don't know~ lol
Abshh thank you again!! ;^;
You even noticed that, omg ;^; You're sooooo good at reading! I thought nobody would give the changes in the way they call each other too much weight, but you actually did! ;^;
Yes! That was my goal with that little part! Showing their growing complicity and bond, showing how they are getting on well and jokingly play that was as well ;^;
Thank you! You truly seem to be understanding the depths of my characters and their personalities and I'm so happy to see this! ;^;

[emisana.livejournal.com]

It's alright don't worry, end of year is always busy after all :)

Yes it become way too real for him when Ueda says so, it's like Kame need to just realize that by himself for fully accept it but it's just still confused for his mind haha.
But yeah it was so funny when Ueda said that haha! I can't wait to see more of Kame discovering himself in that way with Ueda!
Yes and like I said before, this is why your story is so good too cauz you take stuff from the real Ueda & Kame, just like how everybody think Ueda is someone scary etc when we first see him but once you know him, you see he isn't at all and that he's nice and caring, and this is just like in your story and I really like that too.
True! We could already see Ueda's nice side before so I feel like Kame was already willing to entrust himself to Ueda cauz of that too but now even more when he see how Ueda is with me for the aftercare haha!
It's really so nice to see Ueda becoming weaker to Kame, cauz like I said Ueda seems to be in control but at the end not so much when Kame does certain things haha, it's really nice to see how much Kame first entrust himself to Ueda but then to also have Ueda being more and more into Kame. Like I said we really have both sides, both developments and I'm just loving it so much and you just really want to see how their relationship will keep growing.
Guess I'll just discover this by reading the upcoming chapters haha!
I did! Of course I would notice those, all those stuff that seems like details are often the most important so I'm really paying attention to everything like this you enjoy the story fully! Your writing is so good it'd be a shame if people wouldn't read it carefully.
This is why I said your fanfic is by far the best one I've read, because of so many details and developments going so smooth it's really like reading a novel you bought in store.
But yeah especially with the names, when you know a bit of Japanese you know quickly they doesn't call each other by their first name, especially when they just start to know each other so Ueda calling Kame "Kazuya" is noticeable and to call him by his first name is really a signal the session is starting and make it more intimate and for the session it's even more way to say Kame is "no one", like he isn't the famous idol everyone respect during it, he's just Kazuya and so Ueda calling him that way so casually is adding even more. So yeah to me it's clearly something to notice especially, like I said, when you know how Japanese doesn't call themselves by their first name easily.
Yes I really like to see how their bond is becoming more and more special!
Well really it's all thanks to your writing that I understand so much and can immerse that well into your story!

I'm glad to hear then cauz I feel like you're not done hearing those words cauz I may say them again in the future haha! I'm just really happy it can give you so much motivation like this!
No need really it's just what I really think, I don't recall reading a fanfic as good as yours!
Clearly there is no boring part at all, it's perfect from beginning to end for each chapter!
I still feel like I'm exaggerating to write long comments especially when you need to take time for answer to me, I tried to write a less long one this time but I'm clearly failing lol! Sorry orz lol!
But I'm glad to know you're enjoying them still despite being long ones! I'll keep commenting and tell you my thoughts about your story then :)

No need! Yes please keep doing your best!

Yeah that's why I'm not a fan of family reunion in general orz.
Haha I can't wait to seeee! Whatever it is I'm sure it's just gonna be so good as always!
Can't wait to see when they'll be working together then, for some reasons I feel like it's gonna be something..! Haha.
Good then cauz yes I just enjoy to imagine what's gonna come next and try to guess and see afterwards if I could guess it right or not haha.
No need, I'm really sure I'm gonna enjoy it no matters what is gonna come next!

Well seems like this time at least I was able to avoid to split my comment haha! Even tho it's still a long one lol!
Thanks! Happy New Year to you too! :)

[uedanoyome.livejournal.com]

Yeah @@ It was hell, but now two chapters are up, that's why it took a little longer! So, well, hope you like them xD

I guess so too, as long as it's his own mind trying to process it, he's alright coz he still doesn't have any certainties on himself. But the moment Ueda proves it being real, then he just loses it lol
Thank you!
Well, Kame has a lot of things to discover yet, so that's gonna be a pretty fun journey for him xD
Thank you for noticing this too! I tried to take their "peculiar" aspects and put them in the story so they'd look more real when you read it. Especially with Ueda's soft side and Kame's way-too-perfect self. I'm happy you saw this!
Exactly! Once Kame saw Ueda's enjoyable side, he just gave in, and the aftercare made him even more sure xD He likes being spoiled and pampered, so that got him well xD
Indeed! XD Ueda holds the power, but somehow, Kame has some control over Ueda too when he gets braver, to the point even someone like Ueda can lose it with Kame xD
I liked the idea of having a different Ueda with Kame, like also him struggling when he sees himself being different lol I'm happy you're liking the way things are developing! And I hope you'll like how the characters are growing more and more in these new chapters as well!
Ahjdk THANK YOU, I'M SO TOUCHED ;^;
This is really so much to me, having these comments is really... moving me and I'm so thankful;^;
EXACTLY! That's where I wanted to get to! When they call themselves by their first name, or even when they drop the suffixes and stuff, it gives that sense of intimacy, hence, Ueda would use that during their sessions since this way he can get closer to Kame, to the actual Kazuya!
It's not only my writing, but your attention as well! You're such a good reader!!

LMAO Just don't worry and say them all you want, that's an author's pride, I guess and also source of motivation! XD I'm so grateful ;^;
Thank you so much! I hope it's gonna lack boring parts for the following chapters as well then
You're not exaggerating at all! I truly love reading your comments to the story, I like to see how people see what I wrote and know their thoughts about it, so don't worry about lengths! XD

I will!!

We're the same then! XD
Well, two chapters are up so your curiosity can be satisfied for now xD Despite them not being yet immersed in their work xD
I hope they're good!
I guess it's gonna be full of stuff while they work, now, it's not clear what kind of stuff yet, but yeah :/
I wonder if your thoughts were right then xD
Thank yooou! I hope so!!

It's okay~
💙

[emisana.livejournal.com]

I saw!! And read them already yesterday obviously haha! But like I was shocked for a second when I saw there was 2 chapters again! Thank you soooo much!

What's so good in that, in the 2 new chapters you posted, we see how Kame is starting to really accept those facts, like to be excited by a man, by Ueda, to enjoy being treated that way, to realize he might really be a masochist, it really starts to proceed to his mind haha.
Even if there is always a moment, when it stops, that he realized what he said/did/reacted and it's still taking him a little time to realize it's really him that did all of that but it's clearly becoming more and more obvious for him even if there is still a lot to discover I'm sure.
Well in the chapter 9 we could see even more aspects of the real Ueda & Kame! Just like how Ueda like to eat tako and how Kame enjoy cooking and the reaction Ueda was having while eating Kame's cooking like you could totally picture it since we've seen it several times through TV Show, so that was a nice add haha! Especially it allowed Kame once again, to see another side of Ueda. It was a nice little break between sessions, more soft and cute and they get to know each other a bit more each time too. Even if, ofc, I still enjoy when Ueda keep teasing Kame a bit here and there, just like how Kame had to remove his clothes for cook and having Ueda's eyes on him. I like that balance each time, there is more soft moments but still with some teasing and tension, like in a good way, between them.
I also really like to see Ueda being more and more on the verge of losing it because of Kame's behavior like it's just so nice haha, be Kame being less and less reluctant or calling Ueda "Master" despite Junno being with them or even when Kame grabbed Ueda, like all little stuff that make you wonder when Ueda is really gonna lose it for good haha.
No need really, it seriously feel like reading a book that would have been published, available in stores etc like, you gets the idea haha. But yeah this is really what I'm thinking.
Yes yes yes, when you know that stuff about Japanese names, you really understand the meaning.
Well I guess because I'm used to read books I notice a lot haha but for me it's normal, how to enjoy fully a story if you're not careful enough and get all the details, it'd be a shame especially when you put so much work into it.

[emisana.livejournal.com]

Okay then so I'll comment a bit more about the new chapters haha!
Like I said I really liked how the first part of the chapter 9 was soft/cute with adding more characteristics from the real Ueda & Kame cauz like this you can really picture it even more, and ofc always enjoying the teasing and how Kame become more and more used to it like he is more and more.. well submitted I guess haha, like how Ueda could grab Kame's ass easily. Despite the fact Kame is still embarrassed and is still new to feeling such stuff towards Ueda, he is letting him do more and more. You can feel he really starts to slowly give himself fully into this relationship and not only during sessions. I also really liked the part where they fell asleep on the couch and Kame just looking at Ueda like.. So nice haha.
After for the second part, once again despite Kame freezing when seeing the collar ad leash he still didn't say much against it. And the whole scene after that was really something so nice for the process of breaking Kame's idol image. Not being able to see and making him think there is people looking at him while he's getting naked on stage was really intense for him like, once again your writing is so good you can almost sense Kame's feelings especially with Ueda's countdown like this, you're almost holding back your breath while reading it because of how intense it got. But clearly it was necessary for him and once again after that he even felt relieved. Kame is really discovering so much stuff about himself I feel, through all that.
After I really loved how Kame asked himself if Ueda could put back the collar around his neck, like that was so something.
I also enjoy so much Kame's behavior, be at the end of the chapter 9 or 10, he seems so pouty/upset/disappointed when he know Ueda will be a bit busy. He really acts like a boyfriend that is addicted to his new lover and can't spend a day without seeing him haha. It's really so funny to see him reacting that way and then after he realizes it and there is still this little gap between what he does and the realization in his mind right after. But like I said we can clearly see he is slowly accepting more and more his new self even if I feel like he'll still have surprises haha.
Just like in the chapter 10 like that started directly with the handcuffs, I didn't see that coming that's such a great idea haha, especially there they weren't alone in Ueda's hotel this time so it made the things even spicier. And just be Ueda or Kame's behavior, once again, it's just getting better and better, be Kame at first being a bit shocked etc, but then after calling Ueda "Master" when Junno was with them just like I mentionned earlier, like, Kame just giving into his submitted role, becoming almost his natural self to be submitted. And Ueda becoming more and more weak to Kame's behavior without showing it too much to Kame liike, yes haha. I really liked how Ueda played with Kame all the way, touching him in the car or just teasing him here and there while visiting the house. Talking about the house, how Ueda invited Kame to come along too when at first he didn't even want Kame to know his hotel, once again I didn't except it either, to Ueda buying a house and having Kame coming along, feels like quite something, to me at least haha.
But yeah when I read "soundproof walls" I got like "... OMG..!" lol plus Kame asking why Ueda requested such walls... Really Kame, you really needed to ask ?! lol!
And yeah just I was wondering what might happen since they weren't alone but count on Ueda to make any excuses to be able to test the room and end up alone in it with Kame. And there the whole scene like ... Was holding my breath because you never know how far Ueda will go and when will he stop haha. But once again, despite the fact Kame tried to push Ueda a bit at first he just let himself into it so much, not caring much anymore about holding his moans or anything.

[emisana.livejournal.com]

And how at the end he was almost begging for more, even if he never experienced the "more" before, Ueda is really driving him crazy in all the ways possible haha. Especially when Ueda stopped everything, since it wasn't the place and they weren't even alone, but how Kame looked at him and wanted more but then once again Kame suddenly realized what he was thinking and I like how he's still a little confused because he doesn't know that type of things with a man and that's not how he is usually but still losing it more and more.
Also with Junno noticing stuff but being so clueless is hilarious lol Kame can feel relieved around him seriously cauz if it would have been Koki for example, I think he wouldn't have been so clueless. Which also make me go "What ???" when Kame was thinking about telling Koki but yeah he just said bits of what he's doing with Ueda, like better that way cauz seeing how Koki is a good friend who worry about him, I'm afraid he might start to dig a bit into their relationship, since Ueda's image Koki saw wasn't so good.

But yeah overall, as always, I reaaalllyyy enjoyed those 2 new chapters, the characters keep developing same as their relationship.
Like I said I really love how Kame is sad/disappointed when he can't see Ueda for a little time, even if it's just the time for Ueda to move to his house, Kame is really having a hard time to not being able to see him and it's so everything, also so funny how when Ueda noticed it, Kame is all like "I'll see if I feel like coming" lol dude seriously it's written on your face that you so want to go as soon as Ueda call you haha.
Also because of how it's turning, I kept feeling like Ueda is gonna kiss Kame at some point but still didn't happen but because of how it's going I thought Ueda might end up doing it to also see Kame's reaction to it but guess it's still too early for this ? Haha.
On this as always gonna repeat myself but it's so good, still getting better and better, no boring parts, still wanting to discover even more about them and how their relationship will still growing.
I can't wait! Haha!

Haha it's ok I didn't except them to be at work this soon, don't worry! Like I said I didn't talk about what I imagined for pressure you or whatever, I was just lost in my thoughts about your story, if there is what I imagined or there is not, to me your story is gonna stay so good anyway!

Sorry once again, my comment was so long I had to split it in THREE lmao! I'm so sorry haha! I hope you get them all in order then and you don't have to answer at everything you can make a global comment don't worry lol!

[uedanoyome.livejournal.com]

He's going more and more insane, indeed xD Especially comparing to the first part of their sessions where he'd bawl if Ueda touched him xD
Let's say Kame is thron under this point of view, between his "saner" self, or the straight self he believes he is and the... natural self, perhaps? His instincts are trying to tell him something, but who knows when he'll actually understand and give up~
LMAO THANKSSS! I have this innocent image of Junno printed in my head, so I just couldn't help it xD
Indeed, Kame's gonna feel more comfortable despite Junno being with them, in future 👀
Koki is way more... aware under that point of view, so yeah, he'd definitely look deeper into it if he were at Junno's place
LMAO for your reaction xD Kame still wouldn't admit it in front of anybody, so he'd never tell Koki anything more for a long time, I think xD
Also coz the image Koki has of Ueda is not that good indeed

I'm happy to know you liked them! At first I thought they'd be boring at some points but I feel relieved to know you liked them all the way!
The way Kame will react will indeed be pretty clingy when he can't see Ueda xD
LMAO I LOVED THAT XD You're right afterall, he truly had hopes all printed on his face and so was his willingness to follow Ueda if he invited him xD
Hm~ I can't say much about the kiss thing, but I think you'll slowly see it when you read the rest that's to come xD
Aaaa thank you so much, I'm gonna cry for real, I swear!! ;^;
I'm so so so happy!!
And the next chapter is gonna have some more stuff coming so stay tuned! I'll try to post it asap of course!

No worries~ It's normal to expect stuff or imagining more xD But by now, they'd soon have to start working, so more stuff is coming for them


Don't worry, nothing to be sorry! I enjoyed reading your comment and also had fun reading your reactions! Thank you so much for making such detailed comments! I like seeing my story also with readers' eyes, and the fact you put so much effort into writing your comment, makes me really happy! I truly enjoy it!
Once again, thank you!

[uedanoyome.livejournal.com]

For starters: I swear I love reading your impressions of new chapters! Thank you for putting so much efforts into writing your comments about it!

As I said, I wanted to make them more real, and putting this little break was the best opportunity to picture that!
Also, yeah! Kame is slowly understanding his position there and he's kinda enjoying it afterall, so he's gonna let Ueda do that sort of things with no problems... maybe he's kinda desiring that too, afterall xD
The part where Kame stared at Ueda on the couch was necessary indeed! Coz we get to see how Kame's eyes see Ueda each time he has the chance to look at him closely, with time there'll be more of that, somehow!
Indeed, also the collar part shows Kame's willingness to obey Ueda no matter what, and in the house as well!
Omg I'm so happy to know that scene was able to created that kind of atmosphere for the reader too! I wanted to show the reader how Kame was feeling and I'm relieved to know it worked! ;^;
And definitely, that scene was necessary for Kame to break all his usual idol masks for good again. So, that mind trick was the best way to do that.
Clearly, Kame is slowly finding his true self and Ueda is definitely being able to destroy all the falsehood around Kame, I guess.
That's indeed part of Kame discovering himself, and also opening up about his desires with Ueda after finding out his likings
Lmao is that so? XD I didn't realise he'd look like an attached lover but now that you say it, he's indeed becoming so addicted to Ueda to the point he's all clingy to him and sulky if he can't meet him XD
Well, he surely has lots of surprises 👀
Thank yooou xD Since they had to be out, I wanted to make it funnier for the both of them, so the public thingy just came to my mind xD
Indeed, perhaps that's what Kame was waiting for. His inner self is just naturally that way, so he naturally called Ueda that way lol
And yeah, Ueda is the master, so he needs to play it cool sometimes despite his hunger. That's why he kept teasing Kame, I mean, other than for the pleasure of annoying him and make him helpless xD
Character development, indeed xD I'm glad it has a good impact on you, that Ueda is changing that way with Kame!
LMAO THAT'S WHAT I WANTED TO GET WITH THE SOUNDPROOF THING XD
Since he plays a lot, that's necessary for him not to get into any trouble xD
And yeah, Kame is still too innocent for that... or just not smart enough to link both things lol
You always have to expect something coming from Ueda, afterall xD
Really? Lol Well, Ueda is a teaser, so it's indeed a mystery to know whether he'd just go all the way or keep back xD
Kame's indeed slowly giving up and finally focusing on his own pleasure too and his needings rather than what his image commands him to do

[uedanoyome.livejournal.com]

Omg I didn't expect you to be so fast lmao
Well, I was still pondering whether to post them both together or not, but in the end I decided to do so since they were pretty much connected to each other. Also, not gonna lie, I wanted to make the wait for chapter 11 shorter since what's in it and what comes after that chapter is one of my favourite parts lol

Indeed! I guess that everytime they have a "session" the whole thing starts processing in a different way in Kame's mind, till he slowly understands what he wants at the moment or finally admits that he likes those things.
Well, of course, since that's still new to him, he's not gonna give in to the idea of being that way so easily, thus he will be sceptical everytime he comes back to earth, at first.
There's still a lot to discover, indeed! Lol
Aaaah glad you noticed thaaat! XD I did it on purpose so they could look more like the real themselves and I'm glad it worked!
I wanted to put a little break between the first part of the session and the second, so I opted for something cuter and funnier, yet, I couldn't help but adding some more naughty Ueda coz... I love it xD
I'm happy to know that!
I think he's gonna get weaker and weaker with time indeed xD He's a human and Kame is the sexy symbol afterall and he's gonna show him lots of things that'll make Ueda more on the verge of losing his shit xD
It really touches me to know this, I swear! I'm so so happy to know you think so! ;^;
Exactly! Even when Kame switches from "Ueda-san" to "Ueda-kun" and finally to "Ueda"
I'm happy I have such a smart reader ;^;

[emisana.livejournal.com]

Well clearly I don't mind you posting 2 chapters, please go ahead do it anytime you want haha!
Omg, really ?! I can't waaaiiit! Make me even more impatient haha!

Yes yes, I like that there is still that moment of realization, that he slowly starts to understand who he really is at the end and need a bit of time to take it all in. Haha can't wait to see his future reactions!
Ofc, would be hard not to notice haha! It's so nice! It's a nice little break and even better to recognize the real U&K through it haha. Well it wouldn't be Ueda if there was no teasing at all haha!
Haha can't wait to see, Ueda becoming weaker is also something nice to look forwards to~! Yes, after all he wouldn't have started it all with Kame if he wasn't finding him "f*ckable" like he likes to say so himself haha!
I'm glad to be able to make you happy this way :) Cauz after all you deserve it when we see the story you came up with!
Yes yes, I always notice when there is a switch!
Well like I said I'm used to read books so.. I dunno I feel like it's just normal to get details and all haha but thanks :)

Really ?! I can't help but feel a bit bad to leave such long comments to which you also take time to answer so thank you for this too! I'm just enjoying your story so much so I'm commenting, even I try not to be too long for not bother you and take too much of your time but I get so much into it that it end up being long anyway haha! But I'm glad you enjoy to read them that much!

Yes yes, really a nice add!
It's still funny how Kame, out of session, would try to be like "No I'm not gonna wear that" when Ueda mentionned the thong, because Kame can feel that Ueda desires him, he think he can have some power over Ueda so he's a bit like "No" but then Ueda quickly go like "I'm your Master you gotta obey" which make Kame recall at the end who has the most power haha. It's like Kame's ego sometimes seems to kick in a liiittle bit but count on Ueda for shut it down haha. Like it's true Ueda desires him and that Kame is enjoying it but feel like Ueda wouldn't want Kame to think he own a power over him too much since, after all, he still has to break him and he is still the Master after all haha. So yeah I like how Ueda is having a good balance about this, showing to Kame he'd like to f*ck him but showing him also he stay his Master still.
Yes not the first I notice how Kame is looking at Ueda sometimes, I also forgot to mention this but I love how Kame is always going a bit crazy under Ueda's scent. I just really love that, it's just really like he's getting so addicted haha.
Yes it really shows Kame likes to be the submitted of Ueda.
It did so much! You can feel the tension, how it must be nerve wracking, because even in real life, we all wear masks we all have to put ourselves together at some point for fake it and we all have a part of ourselves we find ugly and we never want to show to anyone, so clearly it's very intense. Even more for Kame who is an idol and to be put in such situation must be the most stressful thing he had to do. But clearly it was necessary for him.
Also about that scene I really love what Ueda whispered to Kame at the end before they left the theatre haha. I like when Ueda lets Kame know that he's hungry for him that way.
Yes, always slowly but surely it's working.
Which we all enjoy to see Kame doing so!
Well, yeah because of his reactions it's like when you starts to date someone and you're so addicted/in love, you're sad each time you can't see the person and Kame is really acting like that haha. It's so funny and nice to see I like that side of him too!
Which I can't wait to discover..!
It was so nice, really finishing chapter 9 I was wondering what Ueda had in mind and that was the best as always haha!
It's so nice to discover who is the real Kazuya and how it's becoming quickly natural for him now.
Hahaha, clearly I enjoy a lot when Ueda is playing such a tease on Kame!
It does! Like I said it's becoming so interesting for Kame but also Ueda, to see the changes and the reactions the more you read!
I swear the second I read it.. Just.. ! But yeah I swear Kame asking him this like.. lol!

[emisana.livejournal.com]

Well with Ueda you never know for sure, I mean you know since they weren't alone that he wouldn't go all the way, also it wasn't the good moment but still you can never be sure how far he'll go haha!
Yes you see he's really so much more into it than at the beginning, still need a bit of time for the full Kazuya but clearly we're getting there. But yeah so far you feel that he's still a bit processing everything and need still some more time (and more experiences perhaps haha) to accept it fully.
Lol clearly that fits Junno's image. Good thing he's this clueless so we'll be able to enjoy Kame acting submitted even more despite Junno being around, good to know haha!
Yeah Koki seems dangerous for U&K relationship, if I can say it like that haha.
Yes I was like "WTF?" and then when he explained to Koki I understood that Kame just wanted to make it very global without any details at all and yeah better like this for the moment haha.

Noo they aren't! Why would you think they'd get boring ?!
And like I said, I'm really enjoying that side of him haha.
Clearly, like how can he even dare to try to act cool like if it wasn't bothering him not to see Ueda, like Kame please haha! Plus, like if that would work on Ueda!
I'll just have to wait after the next chapters and see myself haha!
Don't crryyy! Haha, I'm just saying what I'm thinking really! :)
I'm staying tuned, I'm checking almost everyday LOL!

Okay then, well can't wait to see how they'll act while at work!

I'm really glad you enjoy my comments, really! And thank you for taking time to answer at everything despite being long ones even if I told you, you didn't have to, that's so sweet! I like your story so much I feel like I have to comment about every parts haha! It's just natural for me I just start writing and, without realizing, it's since long haha. But yeah no need really and thanks to you too!